Being a hero by Being a Coward

Lore158


This is the First Letter of Lore158.

27/11/2007 or 27/11/27 or 9/11/9 21:22 (cell’s time) 9:26pm (computer’s time) and from the First Time we have 21 hours that can also be 9pm which gives 9:22pm. But if we add all the numbers in the First And Second Time is 9 + 22 + 9 + 26 = 66. And 6 + 6 = 12 – the number of fulfillment.

Dear Lore

Designed to resemble the eye of a falcon, this symbol is called the Eye of Ra or Eye of Horus represents the right eye of the Egyptian Falcon God Horus. As the udjat (or utchat), it represented the sun, and was associated with the Sun God Ra (Re).
The mirror image, or left eye, represented the moon, and the God Tehuti (Thoth). (A very similar concept of the sun and moon as eyes appears in many religious traditions)
According to legend, the left eye was torn from Horus by his murderous brother Seth, and magically restored by Thoth, the God of magick. After the restoration, some stories state, Horus made a gift of the eye to Osiris, which allowed this solar deity to rule the underworld. The story of this injury is probably an allusion to the phases of the moon as the eye which is "torn out" every month.
Together, the eyes represent the whole of the universe, a concept similar to that of the Taoist Yin-yang symbol. Spiritually, the right eye reflects solar, masculine energy, as well as reason and mathematics. The left eye reflects fluid, feminine, lunar energy, and rules intuition and magick. Together, they represent the combined, transcendent power of Horus.

Do you remember this piece I wrote to you? It was in the choice of the shape of the “kind of ruby that has the same qualities than a real ruby”. The choice of the shape was the form of an eye, because of my links to ancient Egypt. But I have came to a stunning conclusion tonight. And I have underlined and highlighted the part of the eye-thing that is actually important. I know the Christian Bible says that in being sort of a coward, lies your strength. And if you look at the word coward, it gives a c and “oward” or where the o is also the symbol used in 0(ne), the no 0(ne) letter in our Alphabet is “A”. So we have a “c” and “award”. And everywhere in these past letters of mine about the night sky, I came across three things everywhere. Whether it is the three kings or whatever. Everything always ended on a 3. But 3 is a number of confirmation, but 3 is also 111 – especially if you take that the letter about the milky way comes down to 3 kings (3 of the same). And 111 is for me “reveal/revelation”. So what is this big “reveal/revelation”? If we look at “king”, it works out as follow:

K = 11th letter or 2
I = 9th letter
N = 14th letter or 5
G = 7th letter

And if we add all these numbers we get at the end a 5. Which is the Sacred Number of the White Lions, which are seen as having an obstacle to hunt for themselves or in a way, being (because of their skin color) cowards, because their skin color make them not such big survivors in the veld like the tawny ones. But they are also seen as the Messengers of God.

So it seems the award that the Egyptian man wanted to show me, was in the sky, but I missed it until last night, when I was woken at about 11:00pm, and my body was feeling very uncomfortable, and with little bit of sky, funny enough, the full moon was shining into my room and I could see it through my blinds. And then, just as I saw that Egyptian man, I saw a man that is like Tarzan or something. But he was sitting in a tree and tried to cut his eye three times with a knife (just above the eye), but couldn’t for some or other reason. Then he let the “knife” fell down, which could have also been a “sword”, but in the falling process I saw it becoming my “wrist ring”.

And although all my friends in Cape Town told me that I am going back to Cape Town, as they instinctively feel that way, my place is at home - whether I am a coward by doing that or not!

Rather stay in the house and be a coward not to move out and not let my dog put down. Even in my shooting incident I was a coward – although our facilitator of the Archetype Course thought that was a hero story – me actually being a coward or 111-award. And that is what the left and right eye in this Universe must reach, to get to the 111-award or be the coward and hero at the same time. But what I realized about my shooting doing the course about "Archetypes", I discovered by telling what happened, what actually happened there. I was running after the girl who had the so called stolen child. And I looked down at my legs and they looked like light, I could only make out my shoes and I was running faster and faster and I saw the girl with the child coming closer and closer. That is when I started thinking but what am I going to do with this girl and child? And suddenly I was helped out, as I was too much of a coward to actually take hold of this girl by force - I was scared I was going to have to have a physical fight with her and I did not want to hurt her or the child. So my problem was solved when her father shot me and I fell to the ground and did not have to hurt her or the child.

I have never looked at it this way before, but only realize now that with the other stuff I have put together this last two weeks on the blog, that what I have missed is that to become 111-awards (cowards), we join the “eyes” to make the Universe what that highlighted underlined part says.

It is not easy to say you are a coward, that is where the unspeakability of that comes from. And also that it is unbelievable and unacceptable at this stage.

So I have admitted it eventually and realized it eventually. I am a coward and a hero at the same time. Another opposite that seems to be just an illusion - as it is the measurement of hero and coward as a state of mind, that is making the illusion of the state of mind we have, believing in opposites, that is no illusion to me anymore. This coward/hero opposite was exposed to me (their illusion) now, so that I can combine the two "eyes of the Universe into One". And I will get the confirmation “award” for that. And this I realized at 8:53pm with the 8 the Weaver of Fate and 53 my domino when we left Cape Town.

WARM REGARDS
Renee
27/11/2007 21:55 (cell’s time) 9:58pm (computer’s time) and from the First Time we have 21 + 5 + 5 = 31. And from the minutes of the Second Time we have 5 + 8 = 13, just the inverses.

This is the Second Letter of Lore158.

28/11/2007 8:26am (cell’s time) 8:30am (computer’s time) with the hour in both instances the Weaver of Fate.

Dear Lore

I am doing more and more things wrong! And I was lying on my bed now and wondering why, why am I doing all these wrong things? And I was shown something. There was a church and inside the church the lights was on, but everybody was just singing hymns from the hymnbooks. And I thought to myself – that singing was always so boring to me when we actually went to church. But I was looking from the dark inside into the light, but inside, in the light, it was a boring thing going on. And then I realized something I actually realized last week already, but just did not take notice of it. I am actually in a jail. My whole perspective world is this little flat and the few times I get to the nearest Pick and Pay. And that is what my jail consist of. No wonder I am doing things wrong – as people in jail are there because they do things wrong.


So I did something wrong (or so it feels) – again, like usual. Like phoning my parents when the dog is ill and when my parents are on holiday. And when my parents tell me exactly not to bother my brother – so when I did what they said and then I phone my parents, my brother gets phoned by my father and my brother come and my brother come to our house and is very cross with me because I phoned my parents while they were on holiday. But I was acting on command of my father who said I must not bother my brother while they are away. All these misunderstandings just because I am in jail! I must do things wrong – even if it is a misunderstanding, as my frame of perspective is only this little flat and perhaps Pick and Pay. I am like the dogs. And in a previous letter I told you already I get treated like the dogs anyway – actually they get better treatment. But it is understood, because I am in jail and do mis(understandings)takes. What other treatment can I expect?

But I think of other people that have a 9 to 5 job. They are in jails too. Just they travel from the one jail to next everyday. But look at the things I am doing “wrong”! It is actually not “wrong” but all because of misunderstandings which I think happen because we are sitting and very boringly singing hymns in a jail – even if it is in the light! Maybe that is why I am traveling as far out as I could into the NO-thingness – as that is exactly where I actually am in this “jail” I am in. Doesn’t matter what you do, you land in jail. And part of being in those jails, is to do misunderstandings which are considered doing the “wrong” things. That is what become of boringness. But it feels to me, even if I think where I was in that dimension in hospital, where I did not exist anymore and only peace and harmony existed – even that frame of reference must become a “jail” at some point? NO wonder creation was created – and we all know about the ALLONE (alone). But what can make things exciting? What can take the “jails” away? As I was outside that church that was light inside, but very boring although it was light inside with the people inside probably sing hymn 119, and I was in the dark looking at all this – that means that I was from the NO-thingness looking at all this. From that dark, NO-thingness perspective, I was looking at all this. I was looking inside through the window and saw the boringness, just hymnbooks! It always reminded me of a funeral, those hymns.

So what is going to save us? How are we going to get out of the “jail”, that church with the lights inside, but without a funeral, it sounded like a funeral. Maybe we should just use our minds a bit more often and start thinking. Not sit there and sing Hymn 119 just like a bunch of parrots. I think parrots are using their brains more than we do.

But at this stage I cannot take any sound. It gives me noise polution. It makes my stomach upset too. What is there that does not become boring? I want that question answered because then I will maybe stop making mis(understandings)takes. But the worst of mis(understandings)takes, is that there were Laws created for it! Maybe that is why we are all in a “jail”, because there are something like “Laws” and they are there for mis(understandings)takes? Because if you do a mis(understanding)take, you land in “jail”. You get labeled – you get labeled a “criminal” – so we are all “criminals”.

In Afrikaans there is a word “krummels”, that means the things bread (food) leaves behind. And that nearly sounds like those “criminals”, some offspring of (food) bread.

But I plead guilty to all the mis(understandings)takes I have made – so I guess that makes me not only a coward and a hero, but also a criminal. And the joke is they cannot sentence me to jail even anymore, as I am there already – as a matter of fact, it was because I am in a “jail”, that I started doing these criminal deeds of mis(understandings)takes!

What a catch22 situation! Criminals sentencing criminals to “jail”, while all are already in “jail”!

Anyway…

WARM REGARDS
Renee
28/11/2007 8:57am (cell’s time) 9:00am (computer’s time) and 9 is where everything comes together. Even though I am sitting in outside in the NO-thingness actually part of that “jail” with the light inside by looking inside and seeing the people singing from the hymnbooks, it helps me a lot to understand exactly this! But I will probably keep on making mistakes until I am out of the “jail” I am in at the moment – the small world I have to live in physically. But the First Time is the hour the Weaver of fate and the minutes is 12, the fulfillment of the Weaver of Fate! And that seems to be the 9, where everything comes together.